You Owe Me Five Farthings by Jane Anstey

Author:Jane Anstey
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781613093771
Publisher: Wings ePress, Inc.
Published: 2019-06-01T04:00:00+00:00

Seventeen

Jan sighed as he closed the door behind his directee. In truth, he was becoming slightly exasperated with Clive’s determination to see in his new and untried attraction to the religious life a real vocation. In Jan’s experience, vocations took a long time to become clear, and not only the individual but also his spiritual director and the community had to agree. It was all happening too quickly and, worse still, Clive seemed quite unwilling to consider the needs of his family––a failure which made Jan judge his faith to be even more embryonic in nature than he had thought at first. As for Clive’s suggestion that his sexuality might be other than straight and for the hint that Jan himself had become the object of his affections, the abbot had no patience at all with this line of reasoning. Clive was going through a major change in his life, that was clear. He had found a path towards true religion and was keen to follow it. He was dealing with traumas and influences from his past. This was all splendid. But to Jan, the rest smacked of over-enthusiasm, over-reaction, and a number of other nouns beginning with the same prefix.

He wondered whether he should find Clive another spiritual director. He did not feel that, in spite of his initial success in gaining the man’s interest in becoming a Catholic, he was achieving all that he might. And there were things going on at the abbey that required his attention. He needed to spend time with Brother Andrew urgently, for example. Something in his old friend’s attitude towards the religious life was changing, and not for the better, and although he had discussed this with Brother Luke, neither of them was quite sure what was going on. The effort of nurturing Clive––particularly in directions that Clive did not want to be nurtured––nearly every weekend was taking up too much of his time and energy, and the results were beginning to be disappointing.

He decided to grasp the nettle immediately and speak to Brother Andrew while it was uppermost in his mind. He sat for a minute considering whether to send for the librarian or go over to the library himself. In the end, he pressed the button on his desk that let the brother on duty know that he needed an errand run. Better to speak to Brother Andrew here in his office rather than on his own ground in the library. It was sad and disturbing to think that he needed to consider these power politics, but nonetheless necessary. They were no longer close friends and companions whose relations led only to intimacy and trust. There was an element of hostility, of resentment, towards him on Brother Andrew’s part that made them seem more like adversaries.

When Brother Anselm, the tiny brother who acted as doorkeeper, came in, Jan gave him a written message for Brother Andrew, to avoid any misunderstandings. It would be easy for Brother Anselm, whose status as

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